I am engaged. Whew. Part of me had wondered if I had long ago missed out on Ms Right, if I blew my chance at happiness because I was young and stupid. And then seven months ago I met Jess.
I think I knew pretty early in our relationship that this one might be "the one." For awhile I had to consciously slow myself, make sure this was the one, not jump in too fast. But during that time I did come to realize that this was it, that I am too happy. And that's what I told her Saturday night. I told her that she makes me very happy and that the only thing that could ever make me happier would be if she would be my wife.
The last week has been kinda nerve racking. Getting everything planned for Saturday. Wanting it to be perfect but also knowing that it was okay if it wasn't. I knew that the trap there is if you're so worked up on it being perfect and there is one little slip up it sends you into a tailspin. But I knew I couldn't be perfect so when things didn't work out I adapted, I didn't freak out. And in the end I think it came off better in her eyes than it did in mine. I knew the things that were missing, she didn't, and what I was able to bring together was good enough that she didn't realize anything was missing.
Now the planning starts. Figuring out a date, figuring out a guest list, asking buddies to be groomsmen and a best man, finding a location, picking a menu, finding a place to live, picking colors for the wedding, the list goes on and on. And I want to be involved, not like some guys who don't care about all that. But for now we can relax for a bit before we have to really think about all that stuff. In the meantime I'm as happy as I've ever been, nothing in my life has been as exciting as this moment. I feel different today than I did Friday.
Notes on “Early Morning of War” – Part 4
1 week ago